much better help was the reality that i might talk to my therapist at any point and so that’s what i started doing i was i was talking to my therapist non-stop through text message so we were texting back and forth talking to her non-stop um any any and everything that i was feeling i was talking with my therapist about it and um i decided that i wanted to do a video a video with her so i wanted to do a um a live the live video alternative and so when i did that um the chemistry and the connection and all of the things that i felt like we constructed simply wasn’t there and i didn’t.}